Joys and Sorrows Mingled

A Reflection Following the Death of a Student's Parent. I have had to offer a variation on this reflection too many times in my work as a campus minister.

This is your life, joys and sorrow mingled, one succeeding the other. Catherine McAuley’s Letter to Frances Warde May 28, 1841

The hard truth about being alive is that if we live long enough, we will experience the death of several people that we love. Seeing these loved ones die is incredibly painful and almost impossible to make sense of. Why does a good God allow people to suffer? Why do people have to die in the first place? What purpose could it possible serve.

There are not good answers to these questions. I have spent a long time wresting with them, myself, and the only answer I find satisfying is this: we do not suffer alone. Our pain troubles God so much that he came to be with us. God took the form of a human being and told us that we are not forgotten and not alone. God came and suffered with us. He suffers with us today as we grieve the loss of our dear brother / sister.

God promises, too, that one day we will see the end of death and suffering. That a resurrection and a new world await us where all that is broken will be remade and every tear will be wiped away. Have faith, Mercy, that we will see this day.

In the weeks ahead, girls, your classmate will be hurting. She may find that simply being at school and returning to her routine is the best way to cope. Find small ways to be there for her, if you can. Sometimes the best thing that you can do is to be present with her as she grieves without saying anything.

Your class counsellors (name them) are here if she needs them, and they are here for you, too. I am also available to talk and to pray with you. Be gentle with each other and pray for each other.

Lastly, have hope. Young women of Mercy, you are not alone. Do not be afraid. God is with us.

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