Built on a Foundation of Love

 A Wedding Homily  

Jeremiah 31:31-32a, 33-34a
Psalm 128
Romans 15:1b-3a, 5-7, 13
Matthew 7:21, 24-25

Good afternoon, friends and family of L and A and especially to our very soon-to-be bride and groom.  It is a pleasure to be here with you to celebrate and witness to this joyous event. I am Ned Berghausen, permanent deacon here at St. Agnes.

If you ask L and A how they met, the two of them will tell you a story with lots of disputed facts.  They first met when they were out at night somewhere. Maybe…  A doesn’t remember that.  L’s told him many times the facts of the meeting he just doesn’t remember it.

No, he says, they first met when she began interning at his workplace.  But she was acting strangely shy—and hiding behind a pillar. The two of them frequently interrupt and tease each other.  You can tell this is a story that they’ve told and fought about many times. 

They tell me, “our friends would describe us as an old married couple already.  We’re very comfortable with each other, and we’ve grown in these roles” as an almost married couple. 

The Gospel reading that A and L chose for today is about good foundations.  We heard Jesus give a parable called the wise and foolish builders which comes as the conclusion and summary of the Sermon on the Mount. He tells us to hear his words and act on them.  The person who does has built their house on a solid foundation that will last and resist the winds and floods and rains of life.

Those that do not hear and act are like a person who built their house on a foundation of sand.  When the winds and rains and floods come the house falls – and its fall is great. 

L and A told me they felt drawn to this gospel for it message of creating a solid foundation for their family and for the message of working together to build a home and a life. 

You know, in a marriage you will face many challenges.  The rain will fall, the floods will come and the winds will blow.  My wife and I have been married almost ten years and there is so much that has happened that we didn’t anticipate.  I told the two of you how we unexpectedly welcomed triplets into our family two and a half years ago.  I don’t know if you will have quite that level of surprise and challenge, but you will face your own difficulties. 

Bishop Robert Barron wrote in a commentary on this Gospel passage, “if you are rooted in God, then you can withstand anything, precisely because you are linked to that power that is creating the cosmos.” That same power is linking the two of you together today.  That power is making something new of you both.

L said that the two of them chose to be married here at St. Agnes because “the church for me is just so much more than yourself.  It’s not what you get out of it.  It’s being here to serve.  That’s true for marriage, too.  We’re here to serve.” 

Wasn’t that beautiful and profound?  Thank you both for writing half of this homily for me!  L expressed well the idea that our love is shown through actions.  Marriage is about serving our spouse, serving children (should God bless you with them), and serving the wider community as a symbol of Christ in the world.  The rock foundation in Jesus’ parable is God.  And God is love.   A love put into action. 

In the first reading we hear God say that he will place a new law into our hearts – a new covenant of love—written there into our very essence.  “I will be your God, and you shall be my people.  No longer will they need to teach their friends and children how to love the Lord.” To be around this couple is to see the truth of that.  Listen to a few words they have to say about each other.

A said about L, “she’s a very passionate person, a very lively person, and she brings that out in me. She gives me a spark to be more engaged in the world.  She makes everything feel more alive.”

L said about A, “You’re very grounded and rational, literally my rock.”  You hear that language about rock foundations again.  They described themselves as having a yin and yang dynamic and playing off each other well.

They also have very good models of marriage in their life, including parents and grandparents.  They especially see themselves in the mold of Lt’s mom’s parents, grandma and grandpa Jack.  All of you gathered here tonight have a special role in supporting their marriage in the years to come.  I challenge you to pray for them, counsel them continue your friendship with them, and provides good examples for them.

L and A, the two of you are built firmly on a foundation of love.  On the rock that is God.  May God continue to bless you on this day and all the days of your life together.  May all who come into contact with you come to know God through your love for each other and for those in need.