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“…as I love you

St. Boniface Catholic Church 
M and M’s Wedding
April 2, 2022

“…as I love you.”

Song of Songs 2-8-10-14-16-8-6-7 (?)
Psalm 103
Romans 12:1-2, 9-18
John 15:9-12

Good afternoon, friends and family of Groom and Bride and especially to our very soon-to-be bride and groom.  It is a pleasure to be here with you to celebrate and witness to this joyous event. I am Ned Berghausen, permanent deacon at St. Agnes parish.  I am also a former teacher of Bride’s.  I taught her when she was a senior at Mercy and had the pleasure of working with her for a year at Mercy.  Bride is a third generation Mercy employee, following in the footsteps of her grandmother, Lillian, and father, Kevin.  I have gotten to know Groom this year through the process of wedding preparation. It is a thrill to be presiding on your special day. 

Groom and Bride have been together for ten years and have grown into a comfortable, solid couple, relaxed in their ability to be in each other’s presence, with a larger group of friends, or even apart from each other.  They met at the University of Kentucky when they were both freshmen, having met through mutual friends (one was a Mercy grad, of course).  After a few months of acquaintance, Groom was taking a long, tedious drive back from the East Coast.   He flipped though his contacts to figure out who he could talk to.  He saw Bride’s name and tried her number.  He pauses in telling this story and says significantly, “She answered.”  That was the start of something—they continued talking and slowly began to date and get more serious.

Today, that relationship is brought into fruition as the two of them stand before you to declare their love and commitment to each other in the sacrament of marriage with all of you as witnesses. 

Groom and Bride told me that they see the presence of God “in how we treat each other, respect each other, and share in our spirituality and values.”  They said that they chose the Gospel passage, the one that I just read a moment ago, because it resonated with them.  Quoting one of Jesus’ lines, they said, “We take, ‘love another as I love you’ as a motto for our relationship.”

Let us take a minute to reflect on that phrase, “as I love you.”   How do we love each other as God loves us?  Just before saying these words at the Last Supper, after everyone had eaten, Jesus did something deeply shocking.  He took a towel, a basin, and a pitcher and kneeled down and washed the feet of his disciples.  His followers were deeply disturbed.  Washing feet was the work of the lowest servants, and a pretty gross task as far as it goes.  Yet, Jesus insisted, saying “If I, your master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet.  I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.” 

Jesus gave an action that illustrated what these pretty words about love are all about.  This command to serve one another is deeply appropriate for a married couple.  Groom and Bride, in your marriage, you are called to serve one another, to sacrifice for each other.  To wash each other’s feet.  Okay, you may not need to literally wash each other’s feet.  Occasional massages are nice, though.  As St. Paul writes, “let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; love another with mutual affection, anticipate one another in showing honor.”

In addition to serving each other, you are called to serve others – including a family, should God bless you with children, and people in need in the wider community.  I pray that your marriage can be a sign of grace to all those who come into contact with you. 

You both know that there will be difficult times ahead.  You will occasionally struggle and need the grace of God and love of friends to get you through.    All of you gathered here tonight have a special role in supporting their marriage in the years to come.  I challenge you to pray for them, counsel them, continue your friendship, and provides good examples for them.

Groom and Bride do have strong love for each other.  Listen to a few words they have to say about each other.

Groom says, “I value her caring side. I believe she’s extremely hard working. She finishes what she starts. We truly care about each other and want to see each other grow. I can’t imagine loving and being loved as much as Bride does for me.” 

Bride says, “Groom is very strong and not afraid to go for what he wants. He’s not timid and has taught me to be more vocal and to believe in myself.”  Like him, she says, “I can’t imagine a future without Groom around.”

In just a moment, I will ask the two of you make your joy complete.  May this sacrament bring into perfection your motto, “love another as I love you.” 



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